keep calm....

thanks to Darren Thomas on Spoonfest facebook- it was bound to happen. I usually find these keep calm... posters rather irritating, but not this one!

West Yorkshire Spoon Club's inaugural meeting tomorrow. We're all looking forward to it!

Cuteness

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With the laptop handy :-) Celebrating a morning of not needing breastfeeding support at BabyCafe.
Its going ok  xx

Tongue TIe Update

Rainbow has had his 'new tongue' two weeks, and firstly, yesterday he started smiling *at* us. He still likes smiling at the wall, the ceiling, etc, but it does make life a little easier now he visibly responds to us- its so sweet. I like a nice gummy grin!
(and if I catch one on camera I'll insert it here!)
So, hows the feeding going? Is it different?
Well, I'd say the feeding is going fine, thanks. No pain and he can open his mouth much wider. Saying that, he is still nipple feeding. I'll put an explanation as my blog has so many different topics, with different readers an explanation here is probably justified. Breastfeeding is really breast feeding- the nipple ends up in the mouth, but baby gums down on breast tissue rather than around the base of the nipple. Well, Rainbow is thankfully doing well on nipple feeding.

 I luckily have enough milk (this type of feeding can end up reducing supply, as well as blocked ducts, which lead to mastitis, etc) so he's growing. Somehow he's getting just a little more in is mouth so it isn't painful to me. Nipple feeding often leads to bleeding, cracked nipples, which I am eternally grateful I haven't suffered from yet. A good explanation I've found for what isn't working right with a tongue tie is here, particularly the lower half of the page.
I've been checked by several different feeding advisors and my position of Rainbow at the breast is great, but his attachment to the breast is poor. Often with general breastfeeding problems, good positioning leads to better attachment, which is the approach most feeding advisors (I've met in this process) have taken without checking thoroughly for tongue tie- until I asked. I feel this delayed me getting more information to try to decide what to do with, and I suspect I'll always wonder how different it would have been had I decided to divide it a fortnight earlier.

Rainbow is able to get his tongue out beyond his lips now (he could always reach his lips, but no further), and its now pointy, it was very wide and flat initially. But his tongue movements are not great. Well, they are great if the idea is to push everything out of his mouth- but it isn't. So we have tongue exercises to do, which hopefully will help. At least he is managing to generally swallow without choking, so its working enough for him now. This is something I wonder may become more of an issue when he starts solids, if he hasn't learned different movements by then.

He is also very 'orally sensitive'. When babies feed, the roof of the mouth is in contact with the areola/nipple. He's ok if something touches the roof of his mouth just behind his gum, but no further. If you look at that diagram above of optimal attachment (sorry, I couldn't find a better one quickly) all the hard palate has contact with areola/nipple- he just can't do that. On the rare occasion we manage to get a better latch, Rainbow gags as he can't tolerate the contact with the roof of his mouth. In babies with mobile tongues, the mouth shape is formed by the tongue swishing around in there, and they are used to that contact with the roof of their mouths. With tongue tie babies they have all the time in utero without that contact, which causes the roof of the mouth to be a very high arch, or bubble (yup, Rainbow has that) and until the tongue tie is divided there is no possibility of the tongue reaching up there. Then, once it is divided, they haven't necessarily got any interest in getting the tongue up there- they gag when anything touches it, so why make yourself gag?
So overall its better, but not perfect. Its a learning process, and I feel Rainbow still has a lot to teach me.

Hmm, I'm finding this all very interesting, and what Rainbow is doing is making sense to me. I'm glad feeding in the short term is ok, but I can't help wondering if we're going to have problems as he grows. I suspect his top front teeth with have a big impact on feeding if we haven't got a deeper latch going.

Nappy cover

Its taken getting the heating on to get it to dry,but its finally lanolised so tonight we try a basic home crocheted wool nappy cover,with the yarn from canon Frome last year.

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Tongue Tie Divided

We did it. A week ago we had it snipped. Literally. Ann has a pair of curved scissors with blunt ends (apparently designed for eyeball surgery- can you imagine something as huge as scissors mixing with eyeballs? I can’t) and very quickly snipped it and he fed straight away afterwards. She and Charlie were lovely and I didn’t really cry, honest!

Rainbow was a little more easily upset than normal for the rest of the day, but was back to his usual sunny self the next day. It was funny Ann suggesting Calpol, when it was Charlie who started us off when Flower was tiny on how awful Calpol is (the additives in it are banned in most EU countries) but it can be so hard to get infant paracetamol on prescription without the additives. (There’s Medinol to ask for at the pharmacy, if you need something).

I was having dilemmas after making my mind up the week before, as the week leading up to the snip was much better feeding-wise. Afterwards Charlie said that with tongue ties it can often improve for a bit, get worse for a bit, then improve again- she’s had people make and rearrange appointments a few times, but they usually decide to have it divided in the end.

Its hard to make a decision which can have such long range consequences. I hope that by snipping now its been a much more minor procedure than trying to persuade a toddler or 5 yr old to have an injection in their mouth. I hope that by having it snipped he’ll be less likely to have speech issues related to it, and be able to lick an icecream or whatever else he feels like, easily.

The potential problems with having it snipped- well, pain for him, obviously, risk of infection (tiny, I asked), risk of it reattaching when healing, and it making feeding even worse- well that was the sticking point. I mean, feeding hasn’t been dire, no blood, no shredded nipples for me, no weight loss, colic or reflux for him- all very usual side effects of a tongue tie. I decided the feeding had been bad enough for me know I wouldn’t feed long term like that, which I suppose had my expectation only been 6 months, it might have been something to think about (though not really, it did really hurt) but I feed my kids for years, not weeks.

My other consideration was how would I feel not doing it. Doing nothing. Not trying to fix a breastfeeding problem. Looking at it that way, I had to try. I had to try to achieve the ease of feeding I’ve had with my other children. It wouldn’t be fair to Rainbow not to try. To suffer breastfeeding him when it was such a breeze with the others- to soldier on, probably complaining when it hurt, yet not doing the only solution offered? No, that wouldn’t be right for us. No one could tell me how bad the bad days would be in the future, or how much easier it’d be without intervening.

It hasn’t been a magic wand for breastfeeding, but then as I’ve said, it wasn’t awful feeding him last week either.

What I have noticed is how WIDE he can open his mouth- noticeable the instant it was cut and he shouted about it. He makes different noises as well. Unfortunately he hasn’t (yet) figured out that by opening his mouth wider the rest of the time, it’d be quite nice if he fed with a bigger mouthful too. It is a little better, he must have more breast tissue in his mouth as he slips off much less, gets less air in when feeding (that clicking sound happens less) but it itsn’t as resilient a latch as I remember with the others. I can’t move while feeding- not that I really want to do much, but leaning to pick up a drink or reading material shouldn’t mean a two-handed job to re-attach every time, IMO. I used to be able to answer the door feeding if I had to! However that may well be how breastfeeding works out with Rainbow, and thank goodness I haven’t got clear memories of that pain anymore- I really have to think to remember how bad it was, so I must have got some sleep since then.
We were also strongly recommended to take him to an osteopath. Apparently not being able to move tongue means not being able to move jaw fully leads to tensions, and very often babe has colic, reflux and a stiff back that osteopathy can help. Lucky for Rainbow he has apparently a lovely shaped head, and not much tension so a couple of visits should sort him out, and fit in a look at my back too. Phew (I knew he wasn't suffering!).

He’s also learning to move his tongue more. When he sucks on a finger I can feel how his tongue movement is one that tries to push my finger out of his mouth (despite it being in the place where he should be automatically sucking in) and I imagine that’s why his latch keeps being so shallow- how else could it be if he keeps thrusting boob out of his mouth? So I need to figure out how to encourage him to use his tongue to pull boob in. We’re doing tongue exercises, and sweeping the snip site to hopefully stop it re-attaching ( a common problem with tongue ties, unfortunately).

I’ve been pointed to a youtube vid to help with latching, which I guess just takes practice.

So, we’ve done it. We’re working on it. Its going ok. Thanks for asking!

Sleep

Sleep


I feel the need to blog about sleep. I have a 2 month old baby. Hmm, but I’ve had a nap this afternoon and can’t remember the gems of wisdom that seemed so important when I was even more sleep deprived.

Its funny, you can look normal (well, pjs at 4 pm is normal, right?) hold a superficial conversation- mostly, but the distraction could just be multiple children, right?

I’ve managed not to try to pay at the supermarket with my rewards card too often (my bank card is the same colour, in my defence) and this time I don’t think I’ve left the house door wide open (or just unlocked), the van door ajar in a carpark, nothing like other times when I had only one baby to care for. Hmm, having older kids mean they remind me of the basics more, perhaps that’s why my mistakes haven’t been so obvious.

Having more kids around does mean for higher noise levels, and I do find background noise seriously impairs me when I’m tired, but nodding and smiling gets me though conversations amazingly well.

Sleep, its a five letter word. Breastfeeding- that has too many letters to count. Last time around with Flower (renaming children- my blog, my prerogative) cosleeping and breastfeeding made life fabulous- sure babies feed through the night, but what a revelation it was that mums don’t have to really wake up to do it! Perfect!

Well, Rainbow (yup, another renamed child) and I have to sit up for some of the night feeds, though that is improving. Actually, its more the lying down feeds aren’t always so great for him, so I need to sit up to wind him which means I wake more, but its still better than either walking across the room to sit up for every feed, or figuring out the instructions for making formula safely in the middle of the night (I recall it involves boiled water cooled to no less than 70 degrees- too hot and you denature the nutrients in it, too cool and risk taziki bacteria, or something like that- thanks formula companies for not making formula powder sterile, so its the parents making it up wrong that poisons the kids, not the nice friendly international moneymaking companies).



Decision making is a problem though. I think my agonizing over whether to get Rainbow’s tongue tie snipped was partly due to sleep deprivation. I wanted to evaluate all the information I had, but struggled to remember the information, let alone evaluate it. I’m feeling pretty lucky though. In the grand scheme of things, I haven’t had to make huge decisions like stopping breastfeeding, or deciding about organ transplants or consent to serious surgery for any of my loved ones- I’ve just let a trusted professional hopefully give us a serious chance at long term breastfeeding. I couldn’t help DH decide what tea was going to be though, that was too hard.

Anyway, I’m rambling a bit, Oh wait, I’m talking about sleep- of course I’m rambling. At the moment 3 hours in a row is a luxury, but overall I think I’m coping. We’ve just had a growth spurt ( I think!) which meant going back to feeding 2 hrly half the night, then every hour for the last half. By 2 hourly I don’t mean a 2 hour gap between feeds, I mean from the start of one feed to the start of another- so in that 2 hours there’s the feed (anywhere between 10 and 40 mins), nappy change if you have a super wee machine (so we do that half way through the night, not every feed) settling him to sleep, settling me to sleep, then a bit of sleep before he’s ready for the next feed.Sigh. I remember first time around with Princess (yup, renamed child No 1 as well) when I could get 4 hours straight I felt amazing!

Babies 2 months old shouldn’t sleep through the night as a rule. That’s dangerous. Feeding through the night does helpful things like stopping periods for longer. Scary things like SIDS happen. Part of the reason I like sleeping with my baby means I can tell their breathing without getting up, sneaking into their room, and hovering until I end up poking them to make sure they breath (Sorry, Princess, I read mainstream parenting books back then), though thinking about it she was around 3 months when she moved rooms.

Tongue- tied

Breastfeeding that is.
Most folk who know me know I've been pregnant or breastfeeding or both for the last 7 years. I've been lucky enough to not have any bother feeding the girls, but it seems with No 3 my luck has run out.
Just to back track a bit, I've always felt lucky to get a good start at breastfeeding- it took a couple of days to get a blood transfusion, and that meant being able to get reassurance and help for every feed, night and day for 3 days. I suspect if I'd headed home quicker I wouldn't have had the confidence all was well, and we'd have stopped fairly soon.

Jumping back forward to my third pregnancy and feeling so ill, that blood transfusion(my hb drop was unexplained) was probably to do with low ferritin which has only been picked up 6 yrs later as the NHS doesn't routinely check it.

Ah, the good old NHS. It provides my family with an income, but for healthcare/treatments I'm beginning to feel let down.

This pregnancy I realised something important to me is knowing who'd be there when I was in labour. Unfortunately that would take having a lot more midwives to manage the on-call. A friend who is one thought they could possibly manage to be available if I laboured during the day, but I'd feel uncomfortable getting a favour when other women may well want that kind of care, and who knows when I'd labour? I certainly didn't expect it to be during the day!
So we went with the alternative as the NHS couldn't meet my needs, and hired an Independant Midwife. Susan's been fabulous, even more helpful and wonderful than I could have imagined, but we've also had to pay about 1/4 of my annual income this year to have her wonderful support. Next year her job becomes illegal as the government believes indemnity insurance makes good practitioners (personally i believe passion, education and experience is more useful).
Anyway, my lovely challenging third pregnancy has duly evolved into a lovely beautiful third child, but the challenges haven't stopped.
I could go on about nappies and elimination communication, but those challenges have been tiny compared to the last few weeks feeding.
It all started fine, just his latch didn't seem great- he'd start well but slip off a bit more easily than I'd expect, but no pain. A little less weight gain the first week, but I made a point of sitting up for night feeds and it seemed to be ok. At 3 weeks things still weren't great, so I went to babycafe in case some positioning support might do the trick. Hmm, I was already doing pretty much everything suggested, but I planned to try a bit harder.It wasn't hurting much then. At 4 weeks I had a stomach bug so I wasn't concentrating on anything much, but when he was 5 weeks I went back to babycafe sure we had a problem, but no idea what it was. I have nephews with a tongue tie/ cleft palate and my sister had warned me back with my first child to be aware of these things, so I asked for tongue tie to be ruled out. Ah, but there was something. Not a 'proper' tongue tie, but his tongue is slightly tethered at the back. Who they refer to wouldn't divide it, so the advice was getting good positioning and possibly trying cranial-sacral therapy. I came away feeling vindicated- there is a structural reason I'm in pain, but gradually realising I pretty much have to just put up with it.
Now luckily for me I was aware of other help out there- I know Analytical Armadillo and was vaguely aware of reading stuff about tongue ties some consultants won't treat impacting on breastfeeding. Also, her kids benefitted from osteopathy- so if nothing else she could hopefully recommend someone local. My friend very kindly assessed Little Man, and was sure what she could see and feel would affect breastfeeding. Her colleague had a check too, and assessed it as an 80% tongue tie, which she could divide that day.
At this point I was a little overwhelmed- 2 days prior I'd found out there was a real problem, but only minor, and now it was definately enough to treat...I needed more time to think it all through, and ensure we had the money (I'd've felt awful if we'd gone ahead but not been able to pay straight away- we're careful to avoid debt).
I've spent the last 5 days on internet forums,a facebook group, and most importantly to me saw a couple of folk in real-life yesterday who've had children with undiagnosed/late diagnosed tongue ties, and then been on the ball with subsequent children for early division.

I've been back to babycafe again just to be very sure- the local NHS guy definately won't touch it, and they haven't anything else to offer.

Nobody else is in my shoes-I don't have blood and wounds showing, baby is gaining weight well. The only problem is the one I can feel, and I know feeding doesn't have to be painful. I'm also aware that the thought of feeding like this longterm is not possible- I would have to stop and be incredibly upset if I had to stop.
So, again, an aspect of the NHS isn't meeting our needs. This one is to do with Little Man's longterm health -artificially fed babies are more likely to be ill and cost the NHS more, as well a parent needing time off work for caring for them- if you want references please go the Analytical Armadillo's blog, but even better read The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer.Don't let the title put you off (it did put me off, I didn't read it until I'd been a parent for about 4 years) its really about how advertising and governments have affected out culture and infant feeding in general (even more relevant to parents who use artificial milk, tbh), but I can't think of a snappy title for it :) My copy is out on loan somewhere, I think- if you have it can I have it back to pass on to someone else?

So, I feel my best option is to pay to have the tongue tie divided, go to an osteopath, and hope feeding improves. If it doesn't and I have to stop- well, I truly feel I can say I've done my best with the information I have now. In months or years to come I may learn something different, but you can only do your best with the information available at the time- I hope to leave parent guilt behind.

Weekend Away

the entrance gate with our tent

approx 5 bell tents and 4 tipis .....

We've had a marvellous weekend away at Spoonfest. Utterly brilliant time had by all. I hoped to watch and listen and enjoy the atmosphere (which I did) but I even got to carve most of a spoon.

Arare sighting of me not holding Little Man, getting to carve instead!

Little Man showing off his T-shirt

The girls made new friends and loved that the village playground was within the Spoonfest site, happily finding us when hungry- occasionally!

DH was able to watch and listen, but didn't manage to get into a queue in time to sign up for a workshop when he tried.

Sunday's workshop sign up queue

engraving workshop- I daren't try that with my track record for injuries!



 Wonderful free demonstrations and talks were fascinating for us grown ups, and of course tons of lovely wood, lots of space to work and chat and share ideas with others. So many circles of carving, chatting people all over was wonderful to watch and occasionally be part of.

Mr 'Flying Shavings' Richard Law working away

It was really great to chat with other greenwood people we've met over the years, and meet new people- all happy to talk 'wood' for more than 5 minutes. Coming back to 'real life' its so sad how folk tend to glaze over, and on a practical level seeing kids hanging around on the streets- I've been itching to spend 10 minutes getting them doing something more productive with a knife and peice of wood.

someone to talk spoons and home ed with- it doesn't get much better than this!

I didn't get to partake much as Little Man was happy in the sling on my front, or feeding all weekend :) Of couse I could have put him on my back out of the way, but the small amount of sleep I get didn't have me feeling terribly safe with sharp tools- so I didn't want to risk an injury and spoil things.
We managed our evening meal on Saturday at the 'bring and burn' communal bbq- with the girls staying up terribly late but we got to enjoy ourselves. Have I worn out the word fabulous yet?

There were plenty of people doing workshops (only £10 for 1.5 hrs with an expert in a small group) and free demonstrations. I missed the Friday evening talk by Jogge Sundqvist, but DH recorded the audio for me (he had slides so it doesn't quite make up for it!). I did get to see most of his Sat am demo,

 Mike Abbott's lumberhorse demo, half of Sean Hellman's sharpening demo, and part of Martin Hazel's talk Sunday morning about the possible patron saint of spoon carvers. Little Man was rather loud when he had needs to be met, so I couldn't just stay and feed him- I had to scoot off so everyone else could still hear. Jared Stonedahl had come from the US and was doing workshops and a demonstration on making knife sheaths with bark and roots- fabulous! We were even able to buy one of his spoons :)

 An osteopath Terence McSweeney did an abreviated demo on ergonomic work (he had a workshop going I wish I could have attended) which was amazing. I hope he'll repeat it next year!

Terence McSweeney's demo

 In my work we're warned about working 'safely' but noone has explained to me which fingers provided  the 'power' for a grip, I just knew we use 'fine motor' muscles to provide too much pressure. Anyway, his brief explanation on how to use an axe not only will help me axe without hurting my muscles, but hopefully help me scan without damaging myself much more also. I want to know more about osteopaths now! DH noticed how many of the professional woodworkers managed to be around for his free demo and were listening very carefully.

pre-spoonfest- Fritiof's course did the first pass-along spoon carving- 10 individual spoon made by teamwork

The gallery of work was far too intimidating for us to add to- the idea was everyone is included but the contributions I saw were all of a very high standard. I am inspired to improve my spoons!
There was also an exhibition of an extensive spoon collection- utterly amazing. I suppose the only enhancement I wish for is just a little more information about the spoon collection/various spoons on display- some had numbers on which intrigued me, but I didn't find out what they meant.

Spoon Club

The weekend finished up with Spoon Club- everyone working in teams to make spoons- 5 minutes each then passing it on to the left... we weren't able to stay to the end but it looked something amazing to be part of.

It was a wonderful experience just getting to Spoonfest with Little Man being so new. I'm amazed at how much we were able to get out from it- and really enjoyed meeting new people and chatting 'spoons'. Hmmm, though this means next year will probably be even harder with a 13 month old...

someone found a good place for a hammock overnight! not so great when the kids start playing early, I imagine....

face paint and a sling

 Yesterday we played with face paint. Today Big One didn't want to make breakfast, but did want to try wearing Little Man while I did that for her. She really enjoyed showing off her baby to her friends- slinging him for 45 mins in the end!
This is a costa rica hoppediz ring sling conversion for those who are interested- DHs favourite sling from Little One.
 I got to enjoy some hands free time knitting in the park- fresh air and sunshine all round- makes it all that little bit easier.

back to baby...



Little Man has been meeting people, getting out and about...

just the odd cuddle with big sis!



with friends



first coffee morning with grandad

its a hard life!

getting sunburn- oops :(

Big One having fun, but the bike wouldn't go fast enough for her!
spent her own pennies on it, too.

I do still like craft, honest!

Today we bumped into Flying Shavings, and a couple of people I've been on various courses with in Edale with Robin Wood.

Apologies craft people, I can see my blog is going to be baby orientated for a good few months at least. Seeing folk face to face makes me realise how boring it must be when you're looking to see what crafting someone is up to...
Mrs Flying Shavings (not sure if you like your name out and about on t'internet) was asking about a programme I caught up with the other day,Britain's heritage heroes- so here's the link for you (Robin Wood is about 20 mins in, but Portland Works is just before that which is interesting, DH and I had a look around when the redevelopment was still threatening). I realise I'd better put the link here, as I'm not all that sure I have your email address...
We bought a lovely bowl from Mr. Flying Shavings. Yes I can carve them, but it would mean waiting a year or so, and it is nice to appreciate the craftmanship of a friend (he's got a heck of a lot more experience than me, and it shows!).I do feel a bit guilty about the bargain we got- but one day hopefully we can return the favour- if we make summat he'd like!

Newborn Sleep

Firstly, just to say I’m writing and sharing this for two reasons. One, so I’ve got a record of how I think things are going now (and family and friends who are interested can know too!) and secondly for the random mum/mum to be who might be interested in some information. This isn’t advice- I’m not telling anyone what to do. This is just what is happening and perhaps its useful for someone else out there.


Little Man and I sleep together.There, I’ve said it. Apparently not many parents admit to sleeping with their children, even if it does happen regularly. This time we didn’t plan for baby to sleep anywhere else. He’s almost 4 weeks old now and it seems to be working great for us.

I didn’t even consider our bed to be an option with Big One- all the NHS info tells you how dangerous it is, and especially NOT to do it certain circumstances (smoking, drink, drugs, excessively tired- basically anything that might interfere with you responding to babies needs) but not how to do it safely if you haven’t any risk factors. With Big One we got ALOT less sleep. It didn’t help I read some more mainstream parenting books. Guess what- the baby didn’t and didn’t fit the patterns ‘expected’.

When Little One was born my reading and experience and awareness of attachment parenting was a bit higher, so we shared a bed from very early days. I quickly realised I wasn’t mucking about waking everyone up trying to get baby to sleep in the moses basket-my baby had its own ideas and I was too tired to argue. When I didn’t fight it, wow- we all were well rested. Brilliant! However, I didn’t read ‘Three in a Bed’ by Deborah Jackson until she was about 5 months old, and then realised we’d been doing things dangerously. I’m all for going with the flow, but I wish I’d been able to easily find some safe co-sleeping tips back then(Sharing the adult bed with baby gets called cosleeping). I would have still co-slept, but not with a big duvet, lots of pillows, etc. We were all fine, and 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing- I was doing the best I could with the information I could find at the time- same as I’ve done with each child.

Today I’ve quickly looked on the internet and I have found some co-sleeping guidelines, but jeepers- reading them still sounds pretty scary, something not safe to do. I feel really lucky I have/had friends online and in real life who helped me realise that co-sleeping is safe, normal and most importantly, makes life easier. No getting out of bed to see to baby’s needs, no wondering if they’re quiet and I should be worrying about that, I can tell if too hot or too cold because they’re touching me.

Its normal in many cultures around the globe - Japan for example. Sticking with Japan, they also have incredibly low incidence of cot death. I can only guess its too hard for the NHS to ensure the advice they give regarding co-sleeping is specific for each family situation. Of course some situations aren’t right for co-sleeping. We might be set up for safe co-sleeping this time around, but if one of us is ill, has a few drinks, etc then we’d change things a little to keep things safe.

Co-sleeping is easier for parents (if done routinely, occasional co-sleeping kids apparently can be hard work). If done safely, reduces risk of cot death (really!), promotes independence in the child, promotes healthy sleep patterns, helps with bonding for parents out at work all day (thats mums or dads) and I think its lovely.
Kids seem to like it- I know Big One (and other preschool age kids who had their own rooms) use the relentless logic of ‘you and daddy share (or you, daddy and baby share), why do I have to sleep alone? Its lonely.’

There is evidence to back up what I’m saying, its not all ‘just’ my opinion. The book I mentioned before ‘Three in a Bed’ isn’t a ‘how to’ guide. Its an extensively referenced (4.5 pages of tiny writing bibliography including several pages of referenced published research). If you are considering having a child, I suggest you read this book so you can make an informed choice with your sleeping arrangements. The ‘easy to find’ info, the government (and FSIDS) safe sleeping advice isn’t the whole truth. I wish I’d come across this book much earlier in my parenting.

The only equipment we’re using is a Hippichick cot size waterproof sheet across where he sleeps, and a sheet or towel on top of that (Hippichick is the least sweaty type of waterproof sheet I’ve come across- not a crinkly noisy one either). We have a large waterproof sheet under our bedding from when bigger kids sleep with us, but I prefer to have a smaller amount of washing for leaks and spills. We do have the cot from the other two- it makes a good shelf for nappies, birth pool, sling storage....no room in it for a baby!

Anyway, how are we today? Well, we’re starting to get the hang of breastfeeding lying down so he’s feeding through the night, yet I’m getting about 5 hrs sleep in a row, plus a couple more shorter stretches. From my other children I recall getting a 4hr stretch making a huge difference for my ability to function/cope, and today has been pretty good. Long may it last!

Three weeks old

Little man is 3 weeks old now, and this last week has gone quickly. I'm starting to feel better, which is fabulous. Looking back, its like my brain has been wrapped in cotton wool- I've not been able to think things through, plan, or stand up for long. Now DH says I'm harder to live with (I see jobs that need doing and put them on the task list, remind him, have suggestions, etc!) and I'm using some of the time DH is getting cuddles with Little Man to do Useful Things. I've been to the supermarket without DH (the ability to remember what I need to  buy and feeling confident I can stand long enough to queue have been limiting factors) but instead the extra stress was figuring out getting Little Man out of the sling, extracting a boob (without showing more flesh than I'm comfortable with)- whilst at the checkouts and the checkout operator was completely ignoring the fact I had a baby with me, let alone feeding. Um, yes, today I WOULD like help packing please!

DH has been able to get on with a couple of jobs we've been intending to do for months as well, which is great. One day we'll even get around to putting the caravan up for sale....

Apologies if you've had a vague telephone conversation with me. Part of knowing I'm not completely better is noticing I can't filter noise as I normally would, so can't concentrate on the phone conversation whilst life carries on around me. I'm the same in busy, noisy places, so just trying to avoid them for the short term.

Oldest meets youngest- Great Grandma with Little Man. Nearly a century between them (but not quite!)

Little One happily busy

Sometimes he will have a lie down by himself for a few minutes

Even nappies are important for Little One to help with

Multi-tasking- potty and feeding works quite well. Less nappies to wash!

Big sister jiggling

quick pic of today

The Wonders of Big Sisters

Big One ( or should that be Biggest One?) has been ever so helpful this morning. DH has gone out for some me time, leaving me, Big One and Baby home alone for the morning. Big One has kept an eye and a cuddle ready for Baby, letting me have a shower, cook us breakfast (second breakfast for some!) put the nappy wash on and let him fall asleep on her before she got to eat her second breakfast. Multitasking big sis!

We're going to try out the pushchair later, at her request. He's only been in slings so far, apart from 3 van trips in the car seat. I'm not quite ready for her to sling him- yet!

Little Big Sis can't be left out- she needs at least twice daily cuddles with him, helping with nappy changes and always a loving pair of arms waiting for him. Couldn't be more loved xxx

Baby Daze

Hotsling in use- not best positioning!

nappies n things on new airer  DH put it up this week