Friday 4 May 2012

Growing a Baby

OK, this is officially the hardest one I've had to grow.

I spent from 9-17 weeks puking (and a month off work as I just couldn't do anything) with hyperemesis.
With the other two I had several months of feeling ill all the time, and more tired with No 2, but this really took the biscuit.

I had a few weeks feeling a bit better, then going dizzy and feeling faint. Cue another month off work, and finally feeling better at 28 weeks- and going back to work. WIth Big One I was fainty from about 18 weeks- I remember being off work for a month, and a night in hospital while they tried to figure out what it was (coming up with nothing, just how I was that pregnancy) but at least then I was absolutely fine until I keeled over- this time I've been feeling fairly rough most of the time.

I managed 2 days at work feeling ok- a normal weekend then another day and a half before wham. A new wobbly faint feeling (definately different from before) with added breathlessness and palpitations for good measure. With this being at work, and the daycare unit being just upstairs I felt worried enough to ask for help there. The midwife that day was E, who delivered Big One and is someone I have confidence in. Laying down (with a fan) definately helped, and the young dr who checked me over decided I was just feeling faint.  Now, I'd had some bloods done the week before that showed I'm low in ferritin, but I didn't have any paperwork for that so I had bloods done again, which confirmed that (and my levels had dropped a bit in the 10 days between).

My friendly NHS midwife, and my lovely independant midwives, and my GP all reckon the low ferritin could be why I'm so breathless, so I'm altering what I eat a bit (dried apricot and blackstrap molasses cookies anyone?) but really can't face eating as much meat as I have been trying to. Spatone is going down as well- I'm trying to cover as many bases as I can think of! I don't mind what works, as long as something does.

Anyway, in between times I've had spells, even days feeling quite alright, so managed another separate day at work. I sort of managed a day out (a lie down in the van worked wonders, and I managed to walk around Skipton- wow!) but then spent the weekend  lying down- literally. Then another 2 days at work, with a manager finding another fan for me -which I felt really daft taking, but it really made a huge difference to how I coped. I've still been going breathless, and wobbly and dizzy, but it didn't really last all that long, and didn't affect my work that much (I think?) but Wednesday I just couldn't get enough breath to get dressed,let alone work so went back to the drs yesterday.

So, this week he found a heart murmur- again nothing to worry about but it'd be nicer if it wasn't there.
Its reassuring to be told its just pregnancy, and just low ferritin- so many folk have 'real' issues to deal with in pregnancy and what I have is very minor, but very much inconvenient! I would really like to be at work when I'm expected (unreliability is something that really irritates me, especially when its me being unreliable). I would like to do my share of work around the house, instead of asking DH and the girls to do stuff. I'd even like to be able to do the shopping- but I need to plan where I can park, how far I'd need to walk, might I need to queue- and mostly I can't do it,or daren't. I've been to the cash machine once in the last 4 months, and managed a supermarket shop on my own once (with Big One's help, carefully timed and a short list).

I definately feel my life is going at a different pace at the moment, and I'm oh, so grateful of a sofa, and a chair, and a bed to sit on/lie on and have a different view of 4 walls. I'm really enjoying that the girls CAN play in another room - I seem to feel better when there's less to concentrate on/distract me from what I'm trying to do.

Today I dragged the family out with me so I could go to the library, choose some knitting books, walk along to the yarn shop, choose some yarn and get  home  with company and without falling down. I feel like I've overdone things a bit, but an afternoon in bed is the price of an outing at the moment.

It means I have the equipment so hopefully during the next 2 weeks (latest sicknote) I'll try to learn to knit in the round. I can do it sitting down, and I'll just have to hope I figure it out- it looks really complicated but one thing I have is sitting down time, and I want to find the positives of being sat around. While I was working on the ripple blanket I felt I wasn't wasting time sitting around, and somehow sitting using the computer doesn't feel as constructive (even if it is looking at patterns!). My sister-in-law has obtained a sewing machine for me as well, so when we can collect it I'm hoping that's another 'sitting down' thing I can feel useful doing, and have a bit of fun.

Bump isn't due until July, and after this sick note I'll have just  7 working days left, finishing on the Queen's Jubilee (they're short staffed that day, so I'm taking some holiday before and after, but it's kind of nice knowing I'll be needed to work- just as long as I'm up to it). Fingers crossed all the iron floating around will have me perked up, ready for the last couple of weeks at work, and then I can start thinking about bump landing

I'm definately envious of the women who a) don't know they're pregnant until a few (or many) months have passed b) feel so well,  that continuing with normal life  near to/ right up to due date doesn't require much thought!

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